Balance
Finding balance opens doors to endless possibilities
Education evolves so much, so quickly, that it feels overwhelming and difficult to keep up with. It makes you constantly question whether or not you are providing the right materials or experiences for your child.
And do you know what I hate the most?
THE ONGOING WARS OF SHAME AND GUILT!
What wars am I referring to you may ask? Unfortunately, there are too many to count, but some of the major ones include:
Worksheets vs. Hands-on tools
Homeschools vs. Public schools
Indoor classrooms vs. Outdoor classrooms
Bright Colors vs. Neutral Colors
Plastic learning materials vs. Wooden learning materials
Prewritten/required programs vs. Student-led investigations
Set time frames for learning concepts vs. Moving at the child’s pace
Standardized testing vs. Documented learning
Parents vs. Teachers
And the list goes on.
Now, I don’t believe these wars started (or continue to live) based on malicious intentions. Individuals and groups of people voiced what they believed was best for children, supported by research, studies, and creditable experts.
As both a mother and a teacher, I’ve fought in many of these same battles. However, my experiences became unique in the fact that I live on both sides — a mother at home and a public school teacher in the classroom.
As a mother, I chose what I believed was right (without a doubt) and I could tell you ALL the research and studies to back it up! As a teacher, though, I was not blessed with the same freedom. Believe me when I tell you I tried — with all of my might — to force the same beliefs I had as a mother into the way I ran my classroom. I attended every training possible — on my own time and with my own money — and brought back all the resources and materials I could to support and justify how it could be used and still support the standards and required expectations.
That’s when I faced a major rude awakening — It wasn’t just me making the rules and calling the shots (like I could as a mother). As a teacher, I was a part of a much bigger system that I had far less control over or say in.
NOW — this would typically be a great lead into the ongoing conversation all over the country right now about how broken the school systems are, BUT that is a conversation for another day 😉
I was torn between two sides — the mother and the teacher. One offered freedom; the other, non-negotiable structure. And somewhere in between, I lost myself.
I was plagued with guilt, confusion, frustration, and ultimately — exhaustion. I was SO tired, and I felt like I had lost my way entirely.
Until one day, I was reading an article about the benefits of outdoor play, and how public school teachers need to make more time for it. A defeated and bitter voice in my head said, “Seriously? You think I haven’t tried? You’re obviously not a public school teacher if you think it’s that simple — and have no idea how badly so many classroom teachers wish they could just simply make that happen!”
And that was when it hit me.
Why does it have to be “Choose one side or the other?”
Why did everything education related secretly coat guilt and shame as a mother or a teacher?
Everywhere I looked — articles, social media, trainings — there was always comparison, always a subtle jab. A sense that one side had to be right.
The gears in my head started turning — I loved my children and wanted to do what I believed was best for them. I loved my co-workers, and knew that they were all doing what they believed was best for students. And I loved the families I had met that chose to homeschool their children because they were doing what they believed was best as well. We are ALL doing what we believe is best for children to help them develop and grow.
🐇 DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE WE GO. . . 🐇
Here’s what I’ve learned:
Did you know — You could find 3 research proven studies to show me that wooden toys are better and safer than plastic toys; meanwhile, I could also find 3 research proven studies to show you that wooden toys can be just as unsafe as plastic toys?
Both facts can be true
Plastic toys:
are made with chemicals
leave a significant carbon footprint,
can break easily and leave sharp edges
On the flip side — Wooden toys:
can cause splinters and infections
can contain chemicals from stains/coatings and paints
can split or rot/mold if not maintained properly.
My point is, it's about what we CHOOSE to believe or fight for.
It doesn’t have to be right vs. wrong.
✨BALANCE ✨
There’s a place for everything, and if it is harnessed correctly, the benefits can be endless!
🌱EXAMPLE 1
As a teacher, I always leaned toward wooden and nature-based materials. And that worked beautifully — for the first five years.
Then one year, I got a class that completely changed my thinking.
They didn’t know how to use the wooden and nature based materials. Leaves were ripped and crunched, wooden toys were launched across the classroom, and — believe it or not — the wooden tree stump blocks were snapped in half. IN HALF! I was APPALLED! DUMBFOUNDED! And a little bit impressed — what kind of sorcery allowed such small children to break a block of solid wood in half?!
I decided to test a theory. I put out familiar plastic toys (which went against everything I had learned):
princess dolls
superhero figurines
robots
bright colored plastic fruit and dishes
And PRESTO! The children were calm and focused
Instead of rejecting what they loved, I paired it with the new. Plastic superheroes with wooden nature blocks. Real pots and pans with colorful pretend food. And something beautiful happened — creativity bloomed.
They learned with the toys they loved while discovering new materials.
🌱EXAMPLE 2
Once, I had a student who struggled deeply with numbers. Nothing worked — flashcards, wooden numerals, sandpaper numbers, songs, rhymes, etc. Then I remembered his love for Paw Patrol.
So I found number cards featuring those characters. Within a week, he recognized every number — even when the characters were gone.
That moment reminded me that education isn’t always about what we (as parents and teachers) believe is best. It’s about what’s best for the child.
☕️THE LESSON
I could have forced my students to only play with nature/wooden learning materials because I believed it was best and I had the research to prove it. However, my students were communicating to me that they had other needs and interests. I didn’t force anything, but I also didn’t give up.
I chose balance.
🍄THE HEART OF TOADSTOOL TABLE 🍄
Here at Toadstool Table, I want to strive for the goal of BALANCE. And please hear my words when I say “strive” and “goal”. I am a human being, as are we all. We are imperfect. We make mistakes. We have thoughts, feelings, opinions, and beliefs for a reason. But based on these learning experiences, I want to grow towards balance. And I invite all of you who feel the same to take this journey with me — for ourselves, for our children, and for the world we are all living in together ❤️
